


What Lies Beneath

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, No She's Not The One, Phil Working It All Out, Providence, The Old Phil Was Kind Of A Tool, The Skye Effect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:19:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1529444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vignette.  Coulson talks to Fitz on the plane ride home at the events closing, "The Only Light In The Darkness".  This is my answer to both the lameness of the Cellist's introduction and Coulson's characterization issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Lies Beneath

"Did it hurt?" the younger man asked. "To just walk away like that."

Coulson could hear the indecision in his voice, just in the asking. Boy, it was going to be a long ride back to Providence. Simmons had returned to the pilot's cabin, Coulson hadn't heard their conversation, he was attempting to radio in to Providence. But, Coulson had taken note that allowing Triplett on the Bus against his wishes, and at Simmons' persistence, had an immediate effect on Fitz's confidence.

Coulson wasn't entirely sure about the nature of Fitzsimmons. Of course, he had his own suspicions and his knowledge of their backgrounds, the fact that in many ways, they'd grown up SHIELD together. He strapped himself back into the chair. Protocols, after all. His life had been one big, fat, protocol.

"She's getting on with her life. And I realized, so am I," he finally answered. Fitz took that the way Coulson figured he would take it. The kid was hurting more than he'd realized. Was trying not to show it.

"To answer your question? No." That caught Fitz off guard, and he shifted to listen with his whole person. 

"This whole time, I thought about our relationship as this thing that I could never really have. Even when we were together, there was something about it that seemed unreal." A smile caught on his face, a memory. "Blissful, but unreal. And over the last few months, the questions, the lies, knowing I had a second chance, everything I stood for shaken to the ground... I realized that I had chosen what I'd been lead to choose, what had been dangled in front of me. Instead of asking myself what I really wanted."

Fitz looked like a light had come on. "Good," thought Coulson. It warmed his heart in the moment to think that Fitz would never have to be anything like him. Was totally free to reject that path. 

"Quiet, delicate, intellectual, laughed at all my jokes," Coulson shook his head. "Hung on my every word, wanted exactly what I wanted. That's not real life," he said. Fitz thought he looked like he was looking at the wall, but that probably meant he was off somewhere else in his head.

"I see," said Fitz, after a companionable silence. "I do get it, I think. We don't really have a company anymore, so I guess we can't be company men."

"We can't afford to," said Coulson. "I don't know what will happen, but it feels more right to stay away than it does to embrace what I used to be. I just can't anymore."

"Got it, sir," said Fitz, his own thoughts beginning to send him somewhere else.

He'd grown on him a lot in these last few weeks. Something about seeing him stare Garrett down, and say what he did, Coulson had been surprised and also felt a bit humbled. As a joke he'd started telling himself it was the "Skye Effect": that all was not lost, that good people make the greatest difference. And that they could continue to be that shield. Fitz had some of that, too. It filled him with gratitude, hope.

Now, when they returned to Providence, he'd talk to May, and get the pettiness out of the way. Talk about what they really wanted, and see if they were on the same page. 

They couldn't afford to be company men anymore. 

But he needed a company.

 

***

 

She closed her eyes and thought of her Phil. Alone, in the room, she cataloged previous moments, pleasant experiences, dinners and flirtations, recalling what she needed to recall. Her face began to tense, that inner voice told her, "You're slipping, honey." Yes, he had slipped beyond her reach, but there was still a tether there, wasn't there? There had to be, he'd said that he would still be her shield. A man doesn't say that if he doesn't feel things. 

She had been everything he needed, and then that stupid Battle of New York had undone all of her hard work.

And whatever had come after, she couldn't reach the places she was able to before. It was like something had shut a door on her when she had probed into the adjacent room while his lackeys told her about Marcus coming for her.

Well, of course Marcus came for her. She called him. That was the Clairvoyant's plan. "Keep Coulson busy, and you can have him after we're all through." 

And what a joke. He was no Clairvoyant. 

But then, these types always underestimated her. 

***

**Author's Note:**

> My pet theory is that the Cellist is quite more than she seems. Does a Whedon show ever hire Amy Acker to play a character without something hidden beneath? 
> 
> My guess is the comics character Moonstone, who could mentally control people (including Blackout) and was a Masters of Evil and really quite mercenary. It's also quite possible she's the real Clairvoyant. They can't talk up mental powers, and have all the henchman so utterly disappointed and never have a real clairvoyant show up. Her powers came from the Moonstone, which was Kree in origin (the alien in the tube at the Guest House).
> 
> My other theory is that Coulson picked up a guest at the Guest House, the Kree Mar-Vell, who doesn't like Moonstone snooping around in Phil's head.


End file.
